Arranged! Pakistani woman creates board game that questions the traditional way of matchmaking
Nashra Balagamwala designed a boardgame based on her own experiences. Photo: Nashra.co
(Web Desk) – A Pakistani game designer has created a board game ‘Arranged!’ based on her experiences of the traditional matchmaking custom in Pakistan.
According to Vice, Nashra Balagamwala started her venture on designing the board game which reflected a custom of arranged marriages, little did she know how it will help her out of an arrange marriage.
"I’ve spoken up about a topic that Pakistanis are uncomfortable with, and now I’m no longer the perfect submissive bride they’re looking for!" she laughs. "It’s great!"
Balagamwala was born and raised in Pakistan, where many families arrange marriages for their children. "I don’t know anyone in my parents generation who had a love marriage," the 24-year-old says.
Nashra Balagamwala. Photo:Nashra.co
Balagamwala explains how she came under pressure to submit to an arranged marriage when she grew older. The traditional custom where meet-ups with the potential suitors are planned by both the families didn’t appeal to her.
"I couldn’t accept the fact that I’d have to spend the rest of my life with someone I’ve only known for a couple of weeks, and someone that was chosen for me based on his wealth, social status and other superficial factors," she explains.
In order to tackle the situation, she moved to New York to study at the Rhode Island School of Design and worked at a board game company, Hasbro “on and off for one year”.
With the expiry date of her visa coming closer Balagamwala started working on a board game that captured her own struggle to avoid arranged marriage. She explains how it was a design to show the experiences of her friends who ended up in loveless unions through marriages arranged by families, to people who they barely knew.
"I took examples from the numerous things I’ve done to get out of an arranged marriage myself," she says, "such as talking about pursuing a career, wearing fake engagement rings, having male friends, or getting a tan—darker skin is considered to be less appealing in Pakistani culture—and turned it into a lighthearted game that is both fun to play as well as eye opening."
In the intricate board game Arranged! the player must do everything to avoid the matchmaker, who is moved by another player known as ‘rishta aunty’. Cards are drawn randomly to help the runaway bride move forward avoiding the rishta aunty. Some of the commands from the drawn cards are like, "you want to pursue a career… move four steps."
If any one of the player ends up on the same tile as the aunty, they face the threat of getting married to either one of the male suitors distributed around the board game. There is also another option of marrying a potential match that the player has chosen for themselves, though the chances of that are not seemingly feasible.
Arranged! board game. Photo: Nashra.co
She explains that, “I wanted it to be an accurate reflection of Pakistani culture.”
Despite the fun game and many people admiring her creative board game, Balagamwala says she received many negative remarks.
"People from all over the world have reached out to help with my visa and living situation, as well as to provide moral support. I’ve also dealt with a lot of criticism. Many Pakistanis have had negative remarks and have said I’m a disgrace because I’m badmouthing the society."
Although the custom of arranged marriages are still favoured and desired by many there have also been many cases where women have lost their lives.
In June 2016, a mother in Lahore strangled her daughter before setting her on fire because the girl chose to marry someone of her own choice. In another case, a girl was drugged and burned alive after she was found of helping her friend elope with her boyfriend. Human Rights Commission of Pakistan in a 2011 report reported that 23 per cent of honour killings happened due to the woman marrying someone of their own choice. It wasn’t until 2003 that Pakistani women were legally allowed to marry someone without the consent of their guardian or father.
Balagamwala explains that this board game is an interactive way for the players to discuss on the serious implications of arranged marriages.
"I think it’s easier to address it in this setting, because it’s more likely that you can get someone to play a fun game, rather than to just sit them down and talk about such deep and dark issues," she says. "There is a higher chance of people having a conversation about something when they experience it together."
Balagamwala started raising funds for her project on Kickstarter website, which surpassed its target of $6,000 before its deadline; she has already received 200 advanced orders.
Photo: Nashra.co
"As of now," Balagamwala says, "I think it’s going to be close to 500 games for the first round of production."
Balagamwala returned to Pakistan after her US visa ended, but she says she will continue working on her board game.
"Speaking up about this topic was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do. I’ve risked losing a lot, but I did it in the hopes that someday, a girl out there will look at this story and it will give her the courage to do the same."
As for her own arranged marriage, "If I have anything to say about it, it’s not happening! I’m going to keep fighting my way out of it till I meet someone I actually want to marry."
